The House that Hell Built
The truth about building a new home lies within anyone who's been through the experience. The problem is that the truth never fully surfaces. If you've built a new house you know what I'm talking about. When talking to others about it you'll say how great it is to have a customized home with all the details you have chosen. You'll mention how certain parts of the process were a bit stressful and how there were times when you could pull your hair out. Talk about humongous lies! You are SO lying! How do I know this? Because my husband and I are building a new house right now and it's more than just a bit stressful. It's definitely more than just wanting to pull out your hair. A lot more.
Our house is currently being framed. It's looking great and the progress is slow going but worth it. But underneath the facade of 'oh, we love our new home!' and 'it's so much fun choosing exactly what we want!' there are feelings are anger and powerlessness. This house building business sucks! And we have a contractor to keep it all in order!
We hired a great contractor who came highly recommended. We chose him because he is pleasant to talk to, seems organized and builds a very good quality house. Up to this point we have no complaints about him and the way he handles his business. He has been a lifesaver in so many ways. He takes the time to talk to you and explain things that you are unsure about. He returns phone calls within 12 hours maximum. He is altogether a great business man.
The thing is ... when you hire a contractor you are hiring his services throughout the whole process. He is the driver of the truck. He steers while you sit in the back seat giving directions. It's very frustrating when you're the one who normally drives. Handing over the responsibility to someone else can be overwhelming. So many things are out of your hands. And you feel powerless! As an outspoken, opinionated woman, this is extremely difficult. I feel as if I have signed over my life because I have no power over the progress of building.
In hindsight I am sure I will look back and realize how wonderful our contractor really is. He is keeping things under control and making sure things get done in the right order, etc. But the waiting game is hard. And feeling like you have no power over the cause of the wait is even harder!
Let me explain....
In August 2004, our brick foundation was built. We would go out to the house every few days and feel a huge WOW while peering at the bricks. (As a side note, the WOW feeling is indescribeable. Possibly equivalent to the rush of emotion when purchasing a new car, or graduating college, or having a new baby.) When September arrived and the only thing to WOW at was still the bricks, it started to feel a little stressful. Then at the end of September, the very end, September 30, the framers arrived on the job and started putting up some of the wood. Each day we'd drive out to the house to find a little bit more done. The WOW was back. And even stronger this time.
Just like all good things even the WOW had to come to an end again. One day the framers just stopped coming. No more wood was going up. The house was dormant, the skeleton barely hanging on. The WOW gave way to a POWerless feeling. The work halt was out of my hands. I could call our contractor and bitch about nothing being done, but he was the one who would call the framers to bitch. At this point I did not want a middle man. I wanted to be the power behind the bitching. Going direct to the source. But in contracting it doesn't work that way.
Eventually things were sorted out and here we are two months into the framing with the possibility of the roof being complete today. The process continues to be exciting and I know we'll be pleased with the outcome. I can't wait until that final day when we can go from saying 'we're building a house' to 'we built a house.'
Oh, and for the people who lie about building their houses, I think I have the reason behind the lies. I believe it must be similiar to labor and childbirth. During the process it's painful and stressful and hard to endure. But afterward you have a wonderful product to gloat over and suddenly the painful memories dissapate. No wonder so many people build more than one house in their lifetime. They just forget how much of a pain in the ass it really is.
Our house is currently being framed. It's looking great and the progress is slow going but worth it. But underneath the facade of 'oh, we love our new home!' and 'it's so much fun choosing exactly what we want!' there are feelings are anger and powerlessness. This house building business sucks! And we have a contractor to keep it all in order!
We hired a great contractor who came highly recommended. We chose him because he is pleasant to talk to, seems organized and builds a very good quality house. Up to this point we have no complaints about him and the way he handles his business. He has been a lifesaver in so many ways. He takes the time to talk to you and explain things that you are unsure about. He returns phone calls within 12 hours maximum. He is altogether a great business man.
The thing is ... when you hire a contractor you are hiring his services throughout the whole process. He is the driver of the truck. He steers while you sit in the back seat giving directions. It's very frustrating when you're the one who normally drives. Handing over the responsibility to someone else can be overwhelming. So many things are out of your hands. And you feel powerless! As an outspoken, opinionated woman, this is extremely difficult. I feel as if I have signed over my life because I have no power over the progress of building.
In hindsight I am sure I will look back and realize how wonderful our contractor really is. He is keeping things under control and making sure things get done in the right order, etc. But the waiting game is hard. And feeling like you have no power over the cause of the wait is even harder!
Let me explain....
In August 2004, our brick foundation was built. We would go out to the house every few days and feel a huge WOW while peering at the bricks. (As a side note, the WOW feeling is indescribeable. Possibly equivalent to the rush of emotion when purchasing a new car, or graduating college, or having a new baby.) When September arrived and the only thing to WOW at was still the bricks, it started to feel a little stressful. Then at the end of September, the very end, September 30, the framers arrived on the job and started putting up some of the wood. Each day we'd drive out to the house to find a little bit more done. The WOW was back. And even stronger this time.
Just like all good things even the WOW had to come to an end again. One day the framers just stopped coming. No more wood was going up. The house was dormant, the skeleton barely hanging on. The WOW gave way to a POWerless feeling. The work halt was out of my hands. I could call our contractor and bitch about nothing being done, but he was the one who would call the framers to bitch. At this point I did not want a middle man. I wanted to be the power behind the bitching. Going direct to the source. But in contracting it doesn't work that way.
Eventually things were sorted out and here we are two months into the framing with the possibility of the roof being complete today. The process continues to be exciting and I know we'll be pleased with the outcome. I can't wait until that final day when we can go from saying 'we're building a house' to 'we built a house.'
Oh, and for the people who lie about building their houses, I think I have the reason behind the lies. I believe it must be similiar to labor and childbirth. During the process it's painful and stressful and hard to endure. But afterward you have a wonderful product to gloat over and suddenly the painful memories dissapate. No wonder so many people build more than one house in their lifetime. They just forget how much of a pain in the ass it really is.
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