Show Me Some Prisoner Love, Baby!
I'm driving home from preschool today. Just your typical "soccer" mom who barely has time to dry her hair before going out in 30° weather. I'm driving my SUV through a very narrow section of county road when I come across the "blue bus." For those not familiar with the "blue bus" this is the prison worker bus. Usually you'll see 20 or so prisoners working on the side of the road while being watched by the bossman (who happens to hold a REALLY big gun). Today the prisoners were lucky enough to be picking up other people's trash.
So here I am, innocent pregnant mom, driving up on the "blue bus." I immediately think "Geez." The road is rather narrow here and there is no way to avoid driving right beside the prisoners as they stand near the back of the bus which is parked off to the side of the road. You can tell they are working so hard (insert major sarcasm here) and will hardly notice another vehicle approaching and then passing them. Ha.
After I have made sure to lock my doors, I pass slowly so not to bust into any rural mailboxes (or injure any valuable prison material). Slooooowly.... Way toooooo slooooowly.... Before I know it all of the prisoners are staring at me with their greedy I-haven't-had-a-woman-in-too-damn-long-and-even-a-fat-pregnant-bitch-will-do look in their eyes. Then they all start waving and whooping and hollering. What a way to boost a fat pregnant woman's ego!! Not my first choice by any means, but I'll take what I can get at this point. I can't help but laugh because it's so pathetic. For me and for them.
I head on down the road contemplating my newfound sexuality. Prisoners will do it to you every time.
